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In When Parents Hurt, psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parent they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child. Through case examples and healing exercises, Dr. Coleman helps parents:
- Reduce anger, guilt, and shame
- Learn how temperament, the teen years, their own or a partner's mistakes, and divorce can strain the parent-child bond
- Come to terms with their own and their child's imperfections
- Develop strategies for rebuilding the relationship or move toward acceptance of what can't be changed
By helping parents recognize what they can do and let go of what they cannot, Dr. Coleman helps families develop more positive ways of healing themselves and relating to each other.
- Sales Rank: #33013 in Books
- Brand: Coleman, Joshua
- Published on: 2008-08-26
- Released on: 2008-08-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .72" w x 5.31" l, .53 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 320 pages
From Publishers Weekly
Parenting and relationship expert Coleman points out that one can be a devoted parent and still have things run amok. Parents who have made mistakes and those who haven't can both be involved in a hurtful relationship with an older child; Coleman's focus is on helping the parent cope and carry on. In individual chapters, he explores the many reasons why a relationship can falter, examining how divorce, mismatches in child/parent personalities and the demands of a competitive society can adversely affect the child/parent relationship. Using case studies from his psychology practice as well as his own experiences as a divorced father who once faced a difficult time with his eldest daughter, Coleman provides strategies for managing the guilt and regret that can arise in parents as children grow into teens and young adults. He advises parents to take responsibility for their past actions, to make amends, to forgive both themselves and their children, and to move guilt and shame to the background and gratitude to the foreground. By following these "essential principles," Coleman claims, emotionally wounded parents will begin to overcome the pain of relationships gone awry and move on to a more hopeful future. Coleman's personable writing style makes this an engaging read despite the serious subject matter. (June)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
“A wise and helpful book.” (Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., Director, Stanford Forgiveness Projects and author of Forgive for Good)
“Joshua Coleman’s book is a gift, offering extraordinary wisdom coupled with practical advice.” (Steven Mintz, Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences and author of Huck's Raft: A History of American Childhood)
“An especially healing, practical resource. . .for anyone exhausted by strained, hurtful relationships with their adolescent or grown child.” (--Dr. Linda Nielsen, Professor of Adolescent Psychology & Women's Studies, Wake Forest University and author of Embracing Your Father: Building the Relationship You Always Wanted With Your Dad)
“I LOVE this book. [It] is written from such a realistic and compassionate perspective that it is heart-warming.” (Hara Estroff Marano, Editor at Large, Psychology Today; author of A Nation of Wimps)
“Exceptionally perceptive.” (--Stephanie Coontz, Author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage and The Way We Never Were)
“A superb treatment...a unique and groundbreaking approach...an eyeopening read for anyone.” (Library Journal (starred review))
“Coleman’s focus is on helping the parent cope and carry on...an engaging read despite the serious subject matter.” (Publishers Weekly)
“An important book that can help parents heal.” (Baltimore Sun)
“. . .desperately needed. . . a truly great book for parents, and a great book for therapists who work with families.” (--Heather Folsom, M.D., author and adult and child psychiatrist)
“This is an incredibly insightful and sensitively written analysis of a difficult subject. . . .I have recommended it to many of my clients. . . I highly recommend it to all parents who hurt.” (--Jan Levine, Ph.D., co-author of Why Do Fools Fall in Love?)
About the Author
Dr. Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized expert in parenting, couples, families, and relationships. He is a Senior Fellow with the Council on Contemporary Families. The author of two critically acclaimed books, The Marriage Makeover and The Lazy Husband, he is a frequent contributor to the San Francisco Chronicle, and his advice has been featured in the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, Psychology Today, the Times (London), and elsewhere. He is a frequent guest on the Today show and has appeared on 20/20, Good Morning America, and many other news programs. He lives with his family in the San Francisco Bay area.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Book That Can Really Help
By Deborah Finnegan
Those of us who have been estranged by an adult child are so devastated-- they can't usually find anyone capable or knowledgeable enough to give them any reasons or comfort for the most horrible and painful thing ever done by children to their parents. All they want is to find someone who can tell them reasons this may have happened to them, and what might be wrong with their children, who should be more on their way to a great new life as an adult. Dr. Coleman is one of the best new voices of insight to this tragedy. He has been seen and heard on tv and radio programs; he also runs a webinar on the internet which is the best communication on the subject you could ever find. This is one of his books. He has insights on lots of things about the modern family, and its troubles with family , and especially children, teen-age or adult. It seems that no matter what the actual age of your children might be, they are also very young in some aspects of themselves and their development. Dr. Coleman explains many of these tough times to parents who may not know as much about their children as they would like to. Anyone who is in this sad situation should read Dr. Coleman!
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Good but not exactly what I was looking for.
By Jeanette harris
It didn't discuss much on grown (50) children who shut out their mother and isolates her.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Teen Parents NOT Parents of Adult Children
By ChgoGuy
NOT A BOOK FOR PARENTS OF ESTRANGED ADULT CHILDREN. There is only one chapter in the back of the book devoted to adult children. The title page is sorely misleading. This a book for parents of teenagers.
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